The Chemistry of Plastics and Monkeys


Everyone has a Dad. Enjoy them while you have them. My Dad is a Scientist. I love you Dad.Happy Father’s day.

Marvel as my Dad talks about the Chemistry of Plastics and Monkeys.

A Hard Sympathy Card to Write


Dear Bonnie and Johnny,

After card swapping, it feels like we are all kind of like family now. So I am regretful that I did not know your brother or Johnny’s Mama. If I had, I could have written you a nice sympathy card about Bob and Pearl, and what they meant each meant to me.

I spent over two hours trying to write this card without saying “I am sorry for your loss.” I do not think that really means anything, but it is what you write on a sympathy card when you have no idea what else to write.

I do not know what it feels like to lose a direct family member. The idea of having to do so has always haunted me. I suppose that if it happened, I would grieve and get through it as other people do.

But I do know that my heart would really hurt—as if it was an aching fist squeezed too tightly, that just hung heavy in my chest.

I have heard it said that other people may forget your name, and that they may even forget all the things that you said and did to them, but that they will never forget the way you made them feel.

It is that way with my Grandpa. I do not feel like he ever died. It seems more like he is just off in the next room all the time. I can still remember his laugh and the way hearing it made me feel—no one else in the world has a laugh like that. That part of him stayed behind with me.

After the grieving, I hope that each of you will feel your lost loved one in this way.

Respectfully, Bryan Edmondson

 

Are Books and People Alike?


Books are not so different than people are. Both come in many different genres, they see things from different points of view, and they speak in unique voices.

Unfortunately, it is easier for me to judge them by their covers, as they wait patiently on a shelf. If I am not careful, I will walk past a great one and never open it–because I am busy, impatient, and thoughtless.

But when I do take the time to look, I find each one has an exclusive set of contemplations: observations, interpretations, and insights about life.

I do not agree with all of them. Some do not share my curiosities. Some I do not understand. Some irritate me for no good reason. Some of them just plain make me mad.

Still, every time I open a new book or talk to a new person, I learn something about life that I did not know before, and that makes my whole view of the world a little bit wider.

We all have to live unchosen lives.


 We all have to live unchosen lives.

Every person alive has to live in their own little self-contained life. We all have to live unchosen lives. Any other human being’s life is just as important and personal to them as yours is to you. Try to get to know people by allowing them a second and third impression. It is a great way to widen you world. I think it also brings on wisdom quicker

Flowers on the Melancholy Wall


She is the web of green vines, which came to me one day. New life blossoming with perfumed jasmine flowers, as they climbed up my melancholy brick wall of loneliness towards the sky.

Her living roots lovingly adhered to me, devotedly—her climbers adorned my crumbling bricks in an enormous impressionistic painting of burgeoning blossoms and soft petals in splotches of vibrant blue.

Her soft fragrant essence kissed the warm breeze, which caressed my time-hardened surface, and the setting sun reached down with fingers of golden mist, which shone warm on the two of us. She is a part of me now, the beautiful part, and I am no longer alone.

I love you Cynthia Ann.

Death and Loss


I MISS YOU NOW THAT YOU ARE GONE. LOSING A GOOD FRIEND LIKE YOU CHANGES EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

NOW MY WORLD IS A LITTLE SMALLER AND THE SUN IS FARTHER AWAY. THE DAYS ARE DREARIER, AND IN THE SHADE OF MISSING LIGHT, THE FLOWERS DO NOT GROW AS VIBRANT OR AS FRAGRANT AS THEY DID WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME.

THE NIGHTS ARE A DARKER SHADOW OF BLACK NOW. AND EVERYTHING IN GOD’S CREATION IS SOMEHOW COLDER.

I AM SAD THAT YOU ARE GONE FOREVER. BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW I LOVED YOU AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.

YOU ARE A PART OF ME NOW.

Utter Devastation of the Spirit is as bad as Death. Never take a Good Friend for Granted. They can die and leave you in the blink of an eye.

 

Dying with a Dog.


Sometimes I forget that I have stage IV cancer, and I even forget that there is no stage V.

I will be sitting at my computer, surfing the internet, enjoying a blog, feeling happy and free, and then I click on the far right tab of my internet browser.

Suddenly I remember that I was previously looking at the cancer.org website. On that web page I can see a picture of a man’s lip. It has a hideous, bleeding open sore on it, the size of a small grape—which is a malignant lesion.

And that is when I say to myself, “Oh yeah, my immunotherapy, the drug which fights my type of cancer, it can actually cause another type of cancer in my body, as a side effect.”

That is just one of the health-giving side effects of my immunotherapy. Not to mention full body rashes, liver and kidney failure or just outright dying because the medicine interferes with my heart beat.

After I finish my panic and self-pity, I take a deep breath, turn my office chair around, and see my dog in his dog bed. I talk to him about being scared. He does not understand a word of what I am saying, but he knows the tone of my voice. And he mentally registers something, and at that point he puts his cold wet nose on my shin.

And that is when I know that if I wake in the middle of the night, at home, alone, and I realize that I am dying, I do not have to be afraid; because my dog will be there, in the bed, sleeping right there beside me. I will just reach over, and put my hand on my dogs’ body, I will feel his warmth, and I will feel his heart beating against my palm. And at that moment I will know that everything will be o.k.—no matter what.